About the therapy and my approach

I am an IFS (internal family systems) therapeutic counsellor, and within that framework we will be able to heal and unburden those parts of your mind that were wounded over time by painful or traumatic events.

The things that you have pushed down and away from consciousness, the things that have happened to you that bother you from the depths of your mind, and the things that make it necessary to wear that cheerful exhausting mask.

You have needed to wear that mask daily to make it possible for you to get on with your life

These wounds may have caused you to have behaviours that you can’t seem to stop, and that you are not proud of, they may cause you anxiety and fear, cause self criticism or self-harm

The good news is your core SELF that you shine outwardly to the ones you care about, the SELF that holds all the care and compassion, is more powerful than you know, and with guidance can shine on and heal those wounded parts of you.

I am also trained in the below forms of therapy and they may all be integrated during the time we work together

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Humanistic Person Centred Therapy

This is my core modality, within this my clients receive unconditional positive regard and empathy, I will be totally with you as you share your truth. This is at the heart of my practice and means that our sessions are focused on you. We may look at how you're currently experiencing life. Encouraging a stronger sense of self and greater self-worth would be a key therapeutic aim.

‘‘The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change’’ Carl R Rogers

Transactional Analysis

(TA) recognises how we experience difficulties in life depending on our way of relating with the people around us. TA therefore encourages an awareness of the way we handle our interactions and how we communicate with others. Every day, we all communicate with those around us from the three main ego states, Parent, Adult or Child. Becoming aware of these communication styles and how they effect our interactions helps with our relationships. We may also look at things such as life scripts, often passed down from our parents or significant others in our lives, or maybe they have just become ways of being that we have adopted along the way.

Gestalt Therapy

Gestalt is an experiential therapy which recognises that most of human communication is non-verbal. Sensations you experience in the counselling room and every-day life are relevant and often triggered by a thought or emotion. Through noticing how the things we talk about are affecting us physically in the ‘here and now’ we become more self-aware, this leads to us making life choices and changes.
During our sessions, techniques to access feelings may be used such as letter writing or working in different creative ways. Some people like to draw or paint their feelings and explain their work and how it made them feel. There are many more interesting and creative ways of working within Gestalt therapy that may enter our sessions.

‘‘ Getting reacquainted with our emotions and learning to embrace them is healing’’

Fritz Perls

The thought of going to counselling can be scary and daunting, like looking up a huge mountain and thinking the climb is impossible, but that journey can be as gentle as it needs to be, first you make base camp, then set your sights on the next stage, and so on.

Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

‘‘EFT IS about creating connection in close relationships. Emotion has a deep logic to it, and we can learn to use it as a compass to guide our steps as we move with others through life’’

Dr Sue Johnson

The stuff that life throws at us can cause emotional disconnection with the partner and person we need the most, a partner may well misinterpret this and so the cycle of destruction commences.

This form of therapy is designed to reconnect couples through emotional communication.

Attachment Theory

The bonds we do, or don’t make with our primary care givers when we are young can influence how we make attachments in our adult lives. Exploration of the connections we made, or didn’t make with those initial care givers, and some psychoeducation around attachment can answer some burning questions for us regarding our adult relationships, and our felt experience within them, leading to understanding and healing.

IFS

Now I am also a qualified IFS therapist, and after working with clients traumatised and wounded parts for some time now, I have completed my level 2 training in Bristol and specialising in substance abuse, eating disorders and trauma with Richard Schwartz’s IFS UK team, deepening my knowledge of this incredible method.

The mind is naturally made of many parts ‘‘Part of me wants to go on holiday, but another part of me wants a new car’’, I think we are all familiar with this form of thinking.

We all have the ability to push down and lock away traumatic memories and events full of distress and pain, our minds need to do this because if it didn’t we wouldn’t be able to go about our everyday lives and function with some form of normality in society.

Our mind is able to do this by moving other parts into protective roles to keep the wounded parts safe, and try to keep all of the painful memories and feelings away from our consciousness and the present, however even though these now exiled parts are away, they and the protective parts can cause the person holding them to have unpleasant feelings, thoughts and behaviours that they don’t understand.

Sometimes the parts we in IFS call the firefighters form the emergency service to numb the pain and distress by taking us to coping strategies such as alcohol, recreational drugs, too much time in the gym or at work, or other addictions.

The good news is we are all born with the ‘‘Self’’, the self is an amazing and healing part of us, it contains Curiosity, Compassion, Care, Confidence, Calm, Creativity, Courage and Connectiveness, these are known as the 8 C’s in IFS, some call it the soul.

This core self that we shine outwardly to the ones we love has always been there, it cannot be changed, harmed or altered, it can go offline when crowded out by the wounded, scared or angry parts.

We enable the client to get to know, and shine that caring and loving light of the Self on their wounded parts, healing and unburdening them, thus freeing the client and calming their system.

All that is required of a client to do this work is to be curious

It is common for clients, but not always, for them to hold trauma and the effects of that trauma in those wounded parts, the effects could be flashbacks, intrusive thoughts or dreams, and to be experiencing things like, risky behaviour, and many different addictions and behaviours they don’t understand.

For further explanation of IFS copy and paste in your search bar the links below, and you can find me on the IFS UK Directory by using this link

https://directory-uk.internalfamilysystemstraining.co.uk/practitioner/daniel-hardy

https://youtu.be/tNA5qTTxFFA

https://youtu.be/B2PtGkHRBR4 IFS meditation

Life can be confusing, it is common for us not to know which path to take, until we take time to really look into each possible path in detail, we can do that together.